When I decided to blog every day for the whole of this year there were a lot of people who either thought I was crazy or I wouldn’t follow through. I knew it was one hell of an undertaking, but the whole time it was always more about the reason why I was blogging.
“Project me” is all about putting myself first, telling myself the truth, having fun and being less driven by goals while feeling purposeful and filled with self worth and love. It seems so much easier said than done and considering I’ve been doing my half hearted attempt at ‘project me’ for the past 6 years, I can vouch for the fact that it’s harder than it sounds.
Accountability doesn’t always have the best connotations and sometimes reminds me of a person who has no will power or drive to follow through … hang on … that used to be me. Hence, I decided to blog every day and be accountable to whoever was out there reading. I know my personality and what I will follow through on and what I’m so easy to give up on. One thing that I won’t give up on is anything that stands me in the light of my life purpose … to teach!
I knew that if I was teaching and inspiring through my daily blogging, that I wouldn’t give up on ‘project me’ or myself with such flippancy. I’d take better care of my body, I’d stop being to obessive workaholic who had no life, I’d be kinder and more loving to myself, I wouldn’t carry as much shame around being single or having friends with benefits … I’d be accountable.
I’ve watched myself change so much in the past 127 and am loving every moment of the gifts that daily blogging has given me. Besides having a daily outlet for my passion for writing and having met beautiful people as a blogger, I’ve given myself the most beautiful gift of all … I’ve made myself conscious.
Every time I blog, I reflect on my day, my choices, my reactions and I also make sure that I find the fun and perfection in every situation I find myself.
This morning’s blog was no exception! However, blogging turned from my daily reminiscing to a flashing warning sign that I about something I’ve been neglecting for a very long time.
Of all the things I am in this life, I have the greatest natural and deep-seeded passion to teach. I’ve been teaching for as far back as I can remember and began with a classroom filled with teddy bears when I was old enough to write. The teacher in me blossomed and grew, but business ventures took me into the field of healing. I never let the passion for teaching die and then I found the amazing outlet of teaching through my writing, but the whole time I had my other businesses and allowed my teaching and writing to be my hobby.
Life changed, my passion for teaching and writing outweighed my love for my other businesses and before I knew it I had turned my passion into my career.
I was oblivious to the fact that anything had changed until I blogged this morning. A little history into the ‘project me blog’ is that it was not meant to be an outlet for teaching … I have other outlets for that. This was for me, a place to ramble on and show the world the magic of how I see life and how I live. But today I was craving writing as the teacher. I even had a little argument with myself and tried to convince myself to save the energy for a newsletter … but the teacher in my fought valiantly and won the floor … and I wrote, as the teacher.
Everything in me changed! I felt more alive than I’ve been in ages and more excited that I can remember. This is also coupled with the fact that I’m starting to teach archetypes tomorrow for the first time in about two years. My soul is literally dancing and celebrating at the thought of doing what I was born to do.
But after the blogging was finished and I put my business hat back on, I had the most profound realisation I’ve had in a very long time … certainly for as long as I’ve owned Lifeology.
I’ve turned my passion into my business and somewhere along the line I’ve become driven into the psyche of a business owner. I’ve been strategising, planning and calculating how my writing will make me money and how I will market myself as the teacher. That’s the worst thing I could have done to myself. I’ve forgotten one of my key teaching … that if you just do what you love, everything else will flow. Yes … I’m living my dream of being the teacher and the writer … but silly me made it a vocation and not a passion.
I’ve spent the rest of the day feeling as though I’m recovering from a whack on the head and my vision is slowly starting to return. I can see myself as the teacher again and have finally remembered why I chose to give it all up and take the plunge into the world that I revel in.
If it weren’t for my daily blog and choosing to consciously live each day through my writing … I might have lost myself for a lot longer!
Today was a woo hoo day on the path of ‘project me’ … and blogging just rocks!