Jodene Shaer 

Keep this, toss that – project me day 115

I’m used to waking up in the morning to messages flashing on my cellphone. Since December last year, Text Guy and I hv been sending each other ‘mmmwa’s’ daily … randomly and frequently! It’s part of my day now and I my fingers naturally prepare themselves to send the reply ‘mmmwa’ back.

Well, wasn’t this a shocker of a way to wake up then? With half open eyes, I reached for my flashing phone at about 6 in the morning. It’s freaking freezing cold and I only had to be at the gym by 10, so I was literally going to respond to the kiss and get my 40 winks.
No kiss … not even a message from Text Guy … not even words … but rather, its an sms from The Jock! No words … remember! Why do men think that a good way to break the ice is to send a pic of their morning glory? In my opinion, that’s not an ice breaker after being deleted from Facebook for like the 5th time. I keep moving on from him and getting used to the fact that he is not a part of my life anymore and he keeps creeping his way back in. It wasn’t the easiest of morning … lying back in the darkness, contemplating responding to the sms. It does not help that our intimate relationship is special, the sex is hot and steam and I actually adore him through all of his shit. BUT … tempting morning glory or not, I have to give myself the gift of letting this one go. ‘Project me’ is about having fun, putting myself first and … telling myself the truth. The truth is … this is not a healthy intimate relationship and I can’t perpetuate the cycle. I’d only send an sms again, we’d hook up after a bit of an argument, it would be hot and steamy, we’d make friends on Facebook … and something else would piss one of us off enough to delete the other, ignore the calls and be done … until …
Delete … don’t reply … TOSS THAT! (As tough as this choice is … ouch!!)

10am was the appointment with the personal trainer.
What a totally different experience to what I expected. Fair enough … he normally trains people three times a week and I’ve asked to see him once for an eating plan and a training program. He’s awesome and within a few minutes I know that this is one of the best choices I could have made, that still goes with my how ‘project me’ way of life.
Admittedly, I did panic the day before and I was so looking to be rescued, yet I managed the manifestation of someone who doesn’t believe that anyone can be saved … go save yourself!
We sat down at the coffee shop in the gym and he handed me two blank pieces of paper. On the one he got me to write down the food that is best to eat for weight loss while balancing the sugars. He then asked me what I liked to eat and was very happy that I stick to the low gi stuff. He explained what every little bit of food does to the body and made it easy for me to now chose the healthier stuff that will fill me for longer. Given that a lot of stuff in new for me … like sweet potatoes … this is going to be fun. … KEEP THIS!
The diagnosis is this … I’ve literally been starving myself with the quantities I’ve been eating and my food must be clinging on for dear life … TOSS THAT!

The part that got me all freaked out is that he leaves you with the food list and the understanding that you can eat anything on that list until you are full and happy. Don’t obsess about quantity and stop eating the good carbs before it gets too late at night! What, no meal plan? … nope … that’s no fun at all, he tells me! Miss Universe did a great job of sending me the perfect person to not play into my fears and issues … KEEP THIS!

As far as the training regime goes … he looked at my super circuit and told me it’s naffy and not doing what my body needs to lose the weight and build the muscles. So … we put together a training program that keeps me 90% in the ladies section of the gym.
I told him that I used to do walking and the track and stopped and he said … no ways … KEEP THIS! So back to walking!
TOSS THIS … so I can do super circuit on a cardio day … although you can see that he just thinks it’s a bit naffy!

The rest of the day was spent socialising with special friends. I’ve decided that alcohol is something I just don’t enjoy anymore at all and not even a glass of wine tempts anymore … TOSS THIS … and it can only be good for the sugar!

Winter’s here … freaking cold! Ok, not nearly as cold as other places in the world, I’m certain … but I’m not in other places! I have to make sure that I don’t hibernate in winter, because I’m already not the most social of butterflies and before you know it, it will be spring again and I will have spent the entire winter in my bed …

The upside though … it’s winter and that’s the best time for warm yummy soup and hot water and lemon and going to gym in the middle of the day … KEEP THIS

Oh … and there’s always on thing that you never know whether to keep or toss … that would be Stalked Guy … remember him … I had to drive to the middle of nowhere to meet him and even though I thought it went super well, I never heard from him again … until … yesterday I get this aimless message on Facebook asking me to write and say ‘Hi’ … to keep or to toss … that is the question? I did email him back … it literally said, “Hi stranger” … so let’s see!