Jodene Shaer 

From where I’m sitting – project me day 296

It’s been interesting for me to watch the relationship I have developed with myself and my surroundings while my body has been going through the healing process. The strangest of all relationships has definitely been with the good old fashioned seat.

Sitting is no joke when an ouch back in involved and after Friday night’s push through a super evening on horrible couches, I was even more afraid for today’s outing. Greggie’s family celebrate birthdays next week and the festivities took place at La Rustic in Houghton. Sundays are awesome there because it’s all you can eat buffet. The catch is that I was anticipating a long day and find myself taking precautionary painkillers before I go out to face the mystery of the type of seating I will be faced with. I am doing so well with weening myself off all medication and did my first 2 day stint without any painkillers … woo hoo! I don’t think I would have needed for today and wish I could have stolen a chair to take home. Why do restaurants have to get fancy? Why can’t they just get the lumbar support right?

Of course the food was amazing but I did choose the bad seat in one respect … I got to face the lamb on the spit! Did I mention that I’m not great at seeing the whole animal hanging by its legs and spinning around. I love lamb but don’t like to be reminded of where it came from. I love fish but will have a mini heart attack if I see the eye looking back at me. I’m one of those girls … awesome day, fantastic chairs but not the smartest of seats!

My brother just offered me his office chair and I can’t believe the difference it has made. I might even be able to feel comfortable enough to attempt an article in a day or two. Thanks brother dearest … awesome seat.
It arrived just in the nick of time because I had a quick chat to Pandora on skype and she’s not having the best time. We haven’t spoken in ages yet she has been incredible while I have been recovering. Every moment she has had a chance she has checked in on me and I know that silently she has needed my support. Now that I am a little more comfie I can be there for my friend and much as she has been there for me.

I know that just because I am finding comfortable seats it doesn’t mean I can jump back in with both feet. I did some research on the net about a ruptured disk and without getting obsessed with goals I know that it takes about 6 to 12 weeks to heal. I also know that I don’t need to see the orthopedic doc after tomorrow and that I have done enough work with myself to hear what my body needs. If I wasn’t getting it right I wouldn’t be healing as well as I am. I only had the injection a month ago and I am already having a good few hours with no pain or symptoms at all.

I have been doing a brilliant visualisation suggested to me by a friend who is an industrial psychologist. I have been focusing on the area of pain in my body and letting my mind wander as I watch my thoughts. Even though I might not think there is any relation, I have been letting the thoughts and voices flow and been taking note. Some fascinating things have been emerging and the most profound of them all is the protective barrier that I have built around me and that I have been lugging around for far too long. I saw images of how it weighs me down and keeps me safe and I know that I don’t have to protect myself from anything in the world. If I managed to get through this time in my life then I can get through my fears of heartache or disappointment. Fear is an illusion and I know that, so it’s time to work on those meditations and break myself out of that protective shell.

I am not feeling great in my skin right now because I can’t exercise or move around much and I am beginning to paint the illusion of losing my beauty and I have to put a stop to that fast. That’s only from where I am sitting but I know it’s not the truth … now I just have to remind myself that giving something too much energy makes it my reality.
On that note and seeing as though I am continuing to blog next year … it’s my sister’s wedding next year February and I want to feel great … even more reason to get myself pain free and onto the adventure of new forms of exercise and core strength.

Right … just because the seat is comfortable I need to remind myself that I have a high pain threshold, a never say die attitude and a body filled with painkillers so I’m listening to the part of me that is saying ‘sign off for tonight’!